bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
