I am in a vortex of obligation.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
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Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
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Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
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