You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Randomize
