they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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