sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
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