So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
