Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Randomize
