All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
