my vag is so smooth its legendary
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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