her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
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when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
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She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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