She said her name was "party"
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I stole a fireplace last night.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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