12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize