I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
no. you can't hotbox the world.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
As shirtless as possible
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
