Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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