Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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