Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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