Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
