bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
