I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
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