I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
