I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize