it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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