walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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