You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Randomize
