How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
