planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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