did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
