I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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