3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
You can't motorboat a personality
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
