OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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