maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
