3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Randomize
