we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
