Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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