I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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