yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I'm bleeding and have questions
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