every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize