So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
so let's talk penis.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
