I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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