After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
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