It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
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mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
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I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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