a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
