About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
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