You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
