I got chris browned last night
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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