There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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