Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize