I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
