it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
