That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I'm at about main and main street
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
