Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
