so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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