i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
