We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
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