People in love make me want to vomit
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Shame - the story of my life.
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