I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize