this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
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I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
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Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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