my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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