okay pat passed out under dana's car
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
