make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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