Why are handjobs necessary in class?
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
