All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize
