the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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