I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
