I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
